The Phantom Menace

(to the tune of The Irish Rover)

It was back a short time, in 1999
I set off for London's Leicester Square
I was sat on a train for an hour or more
For I wanted to see the film there
'Twas the big Odeon (seats with leopard skin print!
Not my taste, but then again it
Is better than before), so I bought some popcorn
And we all watched the Phantom Menace

Well, some of the fans cheered, and some of the fans jeered
And some almost had tears in their eyes
Some said it was fab, others said it was crap
And they all wanted Jar Jar to die
But one Lucas movie, means so much to me
I simply had to defend it
So I just couldn't wait, had to enumerate
The good points of the Phantom Menace

There were those who were pleased by Natalie as queen
And by that light sabre with two blades
Everyone loved that guy - "You think you're a Jedi?"
And the tattoo on Darth Maul's face
The costumes were lush, the design made me gush
The pod race, it dazzled the senses
The "Duel of the Fates", everyone said was great
The best bit of the Phantom Menace

Now it's been a few years since the movie came out
And it did take its toll on the fen
Some who queued up before just don't care anymore
They're waiting for The Two Towers instead
But - no brat Anakin, and Boba Fett's in
And lots more light sabres in it
So I'll start queuing soon, to see Episode Two
Hope it's better than Phantom Menace

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