Gorgeous Goblin

(to the tune of Sweet Transvestite, by Richard O'Brien)

How d'you do, I
See you've met my
Dwarfish minion
He's just a little ashamed
Because when you came
You caught him peeing in the pond
Please get turned on
By the way that I look
These tights, they do something for me
Oh, this shapeshifting trick
Really gives me a kick
I can get everyone to adore me

I'm just a gorgeous goblin
From a land serene
It's my labyrinth

Let me play with your mind
I'll be cruel to be kind
Either or both would behoove me
Or if you want something visual
That's really abysmal
We can take in a bad Bowie movie

"I'm sorry if I intrude
Don't mean to seem rude
But all that I want is my brother
I'll just take him back home
And then leave you alone
I don't want to be any bother"

So your brother's been snatched?
Well - how about that
Poor jailbait - what a pity
By the power of my tights
He will be quite alright
In my castle beyond Goblin City

I'm just a gorgeous goblin
From a land serene
It's my labyrinth

Why don't you stay for the night
Maybe a peach bite
Then everyone on the list'll
Be so jealous of you
'Cos before the night's through
I'll teach you to play with my crystals

I'm just a gorgeous goblin
From a land serene
It's my labyrinth
I'm just a gorgeous goblin
From a land serene
It's my labyrinth

So - I sang my best song
Yet it all went so wrong
I can't believe that the girl was my equal
But maybe there's hope
For this poor goblin dope
So I'll return once more when there's a sequel!

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