Poor Riley's Gone

(to the tune of Pore Jud is Dead)

Poor Riley's gone, Poor Riley Finn is gone
His helicopter took off in the air
He's gone off to Belize
Fighting demons 'neath the trees
And yet somehow I just can't seem to care

Poor Riley's gone, Poor Riley Finn is gone
He was brought in as Buffy's new romance
But Angel was a stud
As for Spike - well, he's a god!
Poor Riley never really stood a chance

And then a moderator'd get up and say-
Folks, we're gathered here to moan and groan about Riley Finn, who was the least popular
character in the history of Buffy

Well, then there'd be weepin' and wailin' from some of the women, and they'd say-
Marc Blucas is the most gorgeous man in the world, and he's a good actor, and a really nice feller, and you're mean to call him Rebound Boy and Captain Cardboard

But the rest of the folks knowed that whatever fine qualities Marc Blucas has, his character Riley was just a big dumb beefcake
Riley was a brave soldier boy
He wasn't as sexy as Forrest, or as smart as Graham, but he could fight demons with the best of them, and he always did what Maggie Walsh said - which was dumb.
And he loved Buffy - ah, he loved Buffy so much, he got suck jobs from vampire trolls, only,
he still wasn't cool.
So nobody ever cared

Poor Riley's gone, Poor Riley Finn is gone
I guess it's 'cause his dialogue was bad
Only had one decent line
(Calling Angel 'King of Pain')
And on a show like Buffy, that's just sad

Poor Riley's gone, Poor Riley Finn is gone
His last episode was Into the Woods
Some folks now feel ashamed
'Cause they used to call him names
But still they're hoping that he's gone for good

Poor Riley's gone, Poor Riley Finn is gone
This song's our way of laying him to rest
He's got another job
With Jay and Silent Bob
We really, truly wish him all the best

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